Guilty Love ADOPTED FROM xxNEESHxx
by froga10t
Summary: lily always hated james, but what happens when her gets seriously sick and its all her fault? will her guilt show her love? and can their love survive? FIRST 7 CHAPTERS FROM xxNEESHxx Sorry but ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

Guilty Love – by xxNEESHxx **ADOPTED BY froga10t**

Lily hates James. She always has, and she always will. But what happens when James is seriously sick and it's Lily's fault?

**Disclaimer: should be obvious, I mean, it is a disclaimer, but whatever. I'm only saying this once, so pay attention. I.DO.NOT.OWN.HARRY.POTTER.OR.ANYTHING.ASSOSSIATED.WITH.IT.**

Guys, this is my first fan fiction so please be nice. I don't mind constructive criticism (I actually welcome it) but no unnecessary flames, okay? Coolness

froga10t: Heya, First 7 chappie's by xxNEESHxx but from there onwards is mine, okies?

**Guilty love**

**Chapter 1 – reasons to flee**

It was early morning, around 6:00 or so, when Lily Evans finally gave up trying to sleep and headed down into the Gryffindor common room. As usual, it was warm; the fire was lit and the windows were closed. Lily sat down in one of the armchairs by the fire and stared into the flickering flames. Someone near her coughed discreetly, and it was only then that she realised she wasn't alone in the room.

She looked up, only to groan and roll her eyes. It was just her luck that out of all the people who could be awake this early on a Saturday morning, it had to be the one person she hated more than anything.

James Potter.

She had to admit, he wasn't bad looking. In fact, he was very handsome, with his cheeky grin, perfect body and messy hair. But he was also the most arrogant git she had ever met. Including his best friend, Sirius Black. And that was saying something. But aside from his arrogance, he was also an incessant prankster, constantly disrupting both lessons and breaks with (although she would never say it out loud) hilarious pranks and witty comebacks. But even that wasn't the most annoying thing about him. No, the most annoying thing was that he constantly asked her out, never taking no for an answer and randomly appearing where she was trying to eat, or relax, or study, and asking her out.

She glanced at him, and saw that he was looking at her oddly, and she gave a sheepish sort of grin as she suddenly realised that in her annoyance she had been glaring at the fire and clenching her fists. At the sight of her smile, however, the strange look disappeared from her face and he grinned back, his smile so radiant that she couldn't help but talk to him.

"Sorry about that James. I was.." But she didn't get to finish her sentence, as he started jumping up and down, a huge smile on his face. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he composed himself as he explained.

"You called me James. Not Potter, James. That means that my Lily has finally come to her senses and understood that she must date me, we are destined to be together."

Lily heard a noise, and turned round to see James's no! No! Potter's friends, Sirius Black and  
Remus Lupin, standing at the top of the stairs to the boys' dormitory, chuckling at the antics of their friend.

A second later, their other friend, Peter Pettigrew, joined them, and asked what was going on, and what had woken them up. In answer, Lupin silently pointed at the still talking James, who stopped when he caught sight of his friends and waved. They waved back, amused at how happy he was. He then turned to Lily, and she got a bad feeling that she knew what he was going to say, and cut him off before he had the chance.

"No Potter," she said, emphasising his last name, "I will not go out with you. Leave me alone."

"Why not?" whined James, all happiness gone from his face.

"Because I don't fancy you, you are an annoying, immature prat, you bully people, and I hate you." He shook his head, and she continued. "Yes Potter, I hate you. I wouldn't date you if you were the last man on Earth! I…" She was cut off again, but this time he didn't speak, just span round and fled out of the room, grabbing something off the couch as he went.

"Prongs!" Sirius shouted, and ran after him. "Prongs, mate! Come back!"

Lily, slightly confused by this, turned to James's other friends for an explanation, only to see, to her surprise, that they both had hostile look on their faces.

"What?" She asked. Lupin glowered at her.

"Why did you do that?" he asked her.

"I.." she was cut off again. Man, that was really starting to bug her.

"Why did you have to break his heart? You could have just stopped at 'no', but you kept going, why?" he asked again, his voice rising.

"I was just stating the facts! He'll get over it." She turned away as a dismissal, only to stop as Peter's voice reached her ears.

"He loves you." She turned around slowly

"What did you say?"

"He said James bloody loves you. Lupin cut in, and his normally soft voice was so harsh that Lily flinched. He loves you, and he always has." He continued, getting louder as he spoke. The conversation was starting to draw an audience, but Lupin kept going regardless.

"He's loved you since first year, and he's told you, and you've rejected him, and now, you've broken his heart. And yes, I do know that, even though I haven't spoken to him. You want to know how?" he kept shouting, ignoring lily's attempts to quiet him. "He was crying! In 7 years I haven't seen him cry, not when he broke both his legs, not ever. And you did it. You broke his heart and made him cry. I hope your happy, you… you..."

He broke off as the portrait hole opened, and Sirius came through, running over to them.

"I cant find him," he said, panting. "Must have taken the cloak. I'm going to get the map, find him on that." He ran to the 7th Year boys' dormitory, throwing Lily a look of pure hatred as he did so. He reappeared a moment later with a piece of parchment in his hand, and threw it on the table in front of the rest of the Marauders, all of whom poured over it, searching for their lost friend.

At that moment, Lily's own friends came forward, and pulled her silently to the chairs by the fire. Once they were seated, they turned again to look. The three boys were still looking at the map, their expressions becoming mote frantic as they failed to find him. Lupin frowned, than brightened, and said suddenly

"Maybe he's in the room!" Sirius and Peter jumped up and followed him as they ran out of the room, Sirius holding onto the map as though his life depended on it.

"The onlookers turned to each other in puzzlement.

"What room?", they asked.


	2. Chapter 2

Guilty Love – by xxNEESHxx

Lily hates James. She always has, and she always will. But what happens when James is seriously sick and it's Lily's fault?

This chapter is dedicated to PadfootRulezz00 and Insomniaticluvah

for being my first reviewers, I love u guys!

PadfootRulezz00, you will find out what room it was in this chappy, I just didn't want to say before cos not many of the other students know about it. they wanted to keep it a secret XD 

**Guilty love**

**Chapter 2 – seeking for the seeker**

_ Recap _

_Lupin frowned, than brightened, and said suddenly_

"_Maybe he's in the room!" Sirius and Peter jumped up and followed him as they ran out of the room, Sirius holding onto the map as though his life depended on it._

"_The onlookers turned to each other in puzzlement._

"_What room?" they asked._

_ End Recap _

The Marauders (minus one) raced down the hallways to the Room of Requirement, dodging the few students that were already awake. They only slowed once they reached the third floor. They walked past three times, and then ran into the room through the door that had appeared in the wall.

They looked around eagerly... and found no sign of James. Sirius gave a strangled cry and kicked the wall viciously.

"Dammit!" he yelled.

"Over here Padfoot," Lupin called. Sirius spun round to see Lupin holding the invisibility cloak. "He must have come here and left." Sirius's face turned red, and Lupin quickly added "So now we'll be able to see where he is on the map."

They crowded round for the second time that morning and looked for the spot labelled James Potter. This time they found it, by the lake, and ran off.

They sped through the corridors again, having to dodge around more people this time, and sprinted out of the doors to the lake, where they again found nothing. They looked again, and went to Hagrid's hut, but only found Hagrid's new puppy, Fang there. Sirius growled with frustration, and whipped the map out of Peter's hand. Lupin took it gently and gave it back to Peter.

"Sirius," he said calmly, "You need to eat, we all do, so let's go down to the Great Hall and have breakfast, and then we can start looking again." Looking at Sirius's thunderous face he quickly added "And maybe someone will have seen Prongs!" This cleared away the anger, and Sirius grabbed his friends' arms, dragging them to the Great Hall.

When they arrived, Peter and Lupin deftly steered Sirius away from a subdued Lily, keeping him at the end of the Gryffindor table. Sirius scanned the room, then cleared a space on the table and jumped onto it. He cleared his throat loudly and shouted

"CAN I HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION PLEASE?!" The babble of the students turned to silence as they looked at Sirius. A scandalized Professor Winsor hissed at him to get down, but he ignored the shy Astronomy teacher.

"IF ANYONE HAS ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THE WHEREABOUTS OF JAMES POTTER (see Moony, I do know long words!) PLEASE TELL ME, LUPIN OR PETER. THANK YOU!" He grinned and sat down again. "Now, we just wait for people to tell us where he's been."

Peter and Lupin smiled faintly, not sure it would work, but sure enough while they were sitting eating like pigs (or a werewolf, in Lupin's case) people kept appearing and telling them that they thought they'd seen James. Lupin whipped out a spare piece of parchment and a quill (receiving strange looks for having them with him even on a Saturday) and Sirius wrote down all the places they were told.

"Excuse me." The boys looked up to see their Headmaster standing over them, a very serious look on his face.

"Professor Dumbledore!" Peter, jumping to the wrong conclusion, began babbling about how Sirius was just worried about his friend and wouldn't climb on the tables again! Dumbledore cut him off abruptly.

"Is it true?" the boys looked confused "Is Mr Potter missing?" They nodded glumly, looking down at their plates. "Why haven't you told a teacher?" The three looked at each other, and Lupin spoke up.

"We don't think he'll be gone for too long, we're just worried about him because he's upset, but we thought there wouldn't be much point asking for help, he's only been gone and hour or so." The headmaster didn't look convinced, so Lupin added, "If we haven't found him by the evening meal, we will gladly accept your help sir. We don't want him out there for long either sir, it's cold, and he didn't take a cloak." Dumbledore nodded, and strode away to his place at the teacher's table.

The food disappeared, the sign that dinner was over, and Peter spread the map out before them. They searched again, and raced off , only to find, again, that he was not there. The whole morning was spent like this, and when they dejectedly came to lunch, they were watched with sympathetic eyes; by now most of the school knew about James's disappearance, although only the Gryffindors knew the reason.

The group left early, unable to bear the eyes on them, and went to resume their search. This time, they kept the map open as they walked, and when they saw James's dot moving, they changed direction. They followed the map to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, and halted, not sure about entering it. They had no qualms about going there when they were on their monthly explorations, but as humans? But then they saw James's dot stop moving, and realised that he was settling there.

They walked quickly but quietly through the forest, guided by the magical map. When they got to the clearing, they hid themselves, and peered out at their friend.

It was a pitiful sight. James was sitting against a tree, staring at the ground, shivering, tears streaming from his eyes. His whole attitude was one of broken defeat. Even his hair conveyed the same feeling of despair, hanging limply over his face, soaked and dripping from the rain the Marauders hadn't even noticed. As if on cue, another shower began, and James raised his head, looking at the heavens. He sighed, and took out his wand with a hand that shook. Pointing it at a pile of dead leaves, he muttered _incino! _Nothing happened. He gave a cry of despair and tried again, twice more, before he gave up and put his wand back, and leaned his head against the tree again. He closed his eyes, and Sirius turned to Lupin with a pleading look. Lupin nodded, and they crept forwards to sit at their friend's side.

James didn't open his eyes, and they looked at each other in puzzlement.

"Prongs?" Sirius asked. No reply. He frowned and shook James, who collapsed. "Prongs!"

Lupin pressed his hand against his friend's forehead and pulled it away sharply.

"He's burning up, he must have a fever," he muttered "Padfoot! Pick him up, lets go! Come on, we need to take him to Madame Pomfrey!" He elbowed Sirius, who picked up his friend bridal style and began running. Peter and Lupin followed is, all three going as fast as they could and shooting anxious glances at their unconscious friend.

There you go then, chapter 2. please enjoy, again, lots of love to u all. if u review, il send u hugs and the first 2 reviewers get the next chapter dedicated to them !

Goodbye, from the ever great (and oh so humble) xxNEESHxx


	3. Chapter 3

Guilty Love – by xxNEESHxx

Lily hates James. She always has, and she always will. But what happens when James is seriously sick and it's Lily's fault?

This chapter is dedicated to PadfootRulezz00 again for being my first reviewer, I love u! 

Okay, I don't want to moan, but here's the thing. This story has 87 hits, so how come I've only got 3 reviews and 2 reviewers? That's kinda harsh guys. I try my best to get these chapters out as quickly as possible, and it's actually quite hard. It doesn't take that much effort to write just a couple of words, does it? Okay, rant over. Sorry for having a go at you guys 

**Guilty love**

**Chapter 3 – can't make him**

The Marauders received quite a few strange looks as they raced through the grounds and hallways to the Madame Pomfrey. A few girls even fainted from the sight, but then, how often do you see the hottest guy in school carrying the (close) second? 

They paid no mind to the screaming though, and continued running as fast as they could through the halls. They skidded to a halt outside the healing wing, and rushed inside, calling for Madame Pomfrey, who came bustling out of her room.

"What is the reason for all this racket?" she asked crossly

"It's James, ma'am," Peter said, "He won't wake up" Her brows unfolded and she gestured to Sirius to lay James on the bed. He did, and the three of them stood back as Madame Pomfrey examined James.

"Pettigrew." She said shortly.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Go and get Professor Dumbledore. The password is sugar quills." Peter nodded and dashed off, leaving Lupin and Sirius to glance at each other in worry. If she wanted the headmaster there, then James must be seriously ill.

"Madam Pomfrey, what…"

"Not now Mr. Black, I am trying to heal your friend here." Sirius nodded and lapsed into silent worry again. Soon, Dumbledore came striding into the hospital wing with Peter scuttling along behind him.

"Harriet, what is wrong with Mr. Potter?" (A/N, I know that's not Madame Pomfrey's first name, but I don't know what is, so for now, I'm just leaving it as Harriet.) Madame Pomfrey looked at James's friends nervously, but Dumbledore said soothingly.

"You can tell them everything. They need to know as well." She glanced at them again, and then nodded.

"Well, he's caught pneumonia from the cold and exhaustion, but that's not really the problem. I can heal that in an instant, but…." He voice trailed off.

"But what?!?!" Sirius shouted, unable to wait any longer. When both the adults looked at him disapprovingly, he shouted in frustration and slumped down in a chair. Madam Pomfrey continued.

"He has a very serious wizarding disease known as Depressoma. This is when a witch or wizard becomes so depressed that they fall into an irreversible coma." Here she stopped again, for all of James's friends had gasped at the word irreversible, and Peter had begun to cry, Sirius had turned away, trying to control his emotions, but his shoulders were shaking and every now and then he made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob, and tears fell down Lupin's face as he tried to comfort his distraught friends. She fluttered her hands, and gave Dumbledore a beseeching look. He cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Boys, we will try to revive him. He is young and resilient; there may therefore be a way to save him. I will look into it, but you must remember that he brought the coma. We cannot make him wake up. But now, the three of you need to go and eat, you have been out in the cold all day and you need to regain energy. You may come back here when you have eaten, okay?" The Marauders looked at each other and sighed.

"Okay" they mumbled, and trudged out.

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There you go then, chapter 3. Please enjoy, again, lots of love to u all. If u review, I'll send u hugs and the first reviewer gets the next chapter dedicated to them!

Goodbye, from the ever great (and oh so humble) xxNEESHxx

Btw, I'm sorry this was quite short, but I needed this to end here. I'm actually just about to write the nest one, so you should get it tomorrow, k?


	4. Chapter 4

Guilty Love – by xxNEESHxx

Lily hates James. She always has, and she always will. But what happens when James is seriously sick and it's Lily's fault?

This chapter is dedicated to hippolina97, for being the first reviewer of chap 3, and for pointing out that Madame Pomfrey name is Poppy. So **from now I am going to use Poppy instead of Harriet.**

WOOT!!! I'm back!!! Sorry about not posting, hopefully you know why by now. I wanted to say sorry for leaving you with kind of a cliffy about whether James can be healed or not, so I'm gunna make this an extra good chappy for you all. Love u! 

**Guilty love**

**Chapter 4 – confrontations **

When the Marauders walked into the Great hall 10 minutes later, the whole school turned to look at them. Not in any of the usual ways. Not in the 'OMG, they are/ he is so gorgeous!' way, not in the 'Oh crap, what have they done now?' way, not in the 'I'm going to kill those bastards' way'. None of those. For the first time in Marauder history, people were looking at them with pity in their eyes. The story of James's illness had travelled like fire through the school, and the Ravenclaws. Hufflepuffs and their fellow Gryffindors looked at them sympathetically. The Slytheryns, however, couldn't be happier, and made no effort to hide it. Snape in particular looked like he had just been told… well, told his worst enemy might never be conscious again.

The three sat down without meeting anyone's eyes, and dejectedly began to eat, in total silence. Slowly people turned back to their meals and gradually, the normal chatter returned to the hall. However, during the meal, people from every house (except Slytheryn, obviously) came over to offer their condolences and, in the case of the fan girls, ask whether they could visit their unconscious boyfriend (cough cough) and wake him up with a kiss.

It was a mark of how worried the boys were that they reacted so strangely. People directed most of their comments to Lupin, knowing he was the calmest and most polite Marauder, and would give them the best answers, but he didn't respond at all. Sirius didn't flirt, just told them that yes, James was in a coma and no, no one but the three boys could visit him. He didn't grin, or give anyone the famous 'Look'. Peter wasn't eating much, which spoke volumes of his fear for his friend. Normally he ate more than anyone, even James.

James. As she reached this point in her musings, Lily felt her heart clench. She looked over at the three silent figures at the other end of the Gryffindor table and sighed. She had to go, didn't she? She had to find out for herself, couldn't assuage her guilt with 3rd or 4th hand information. She had to face them. Slowly, she got up, meeting her anxious friend's eyes and silently bagging them to come with her. The two of them also got up, and flanked her as she trudged down the length of the table to where they sat.

"Ummm... Is James alright?" Lily asked nervously. Without looking up, Lupin replied

"That's Potter to you, Evans." In such a cold voice that it froze Lily to the spot, even though her friends tried to tug her away. Sirius turned towards her.

"He's in a coma, thanks to you." He sneered at her "I bet you're happy. You put my best friend in Depressoma. He won't wake up. Ever. You can go around without being bothered now, Evans. He won't bother you again. He won't bother anyone." Sometime during this speech, Sirius had stood up and started shouting. He had the attention of everyone in the hall, but that didn't stop him.

"You might as well have killed him! He's just lying there! It's like he's dead. And it's all your fault Lily Evans! If he never wakes up, it will be your fault!" Lily started to cry, and Peter and Lupin got up. Grabbing Sirius's arms, they dragged him away. As they reached the doors, Peter turned round and yelled

"Just because we're pulling him away doesn't mean we don't agree! It's all your fault Evans!" with that, they walked away to the Hospital wing.

Lily ran out of the Hall, still crying, and her friends ran after her. They caught her just outside the hall and took her to the 7th year girls' dorm. They sat her down on the bed, and began to talk to her. They told her some painful truths, that what she had done was inexcusable, and she needed to apologize to James, and tell him that what she said wasn't true. Here Lily interrupted.

"But it was true!" her friends sighed in exasperation, and Alice groaned.

"No it wasn't Lily. You love him too, but you don't want to admit it because you have this stupid image on your head of what your perfect man is, and James doesn't fit that. Lily, no one will ever fit it. But you love James, and he loves you, and you need to tell him, even if he can't respond." They both began to walk out of the room, and Mona called back

"You can't let someone stay unconscious for the rest of their life just because you're too proud to admit you love them." They walked down the stairs, leaving Lily crying and thinking over what they had said.

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Okay, chapter 4. I hope you liked it. Originally, this was gunna be an extra long one, but I think it needed to end there. But don't worry! The next chap will be posted as soon as I can! Whoohooo!

Goodbye, from the ever great (and oh so humble) xxNEESHxx

Remember, REVIEW!! Make me proud, my grasshoppers.


	5. Chapter 5

Guilty Love – by xxNEESHxx

Lily hates James. She always has, and she always will. But what happens when James is seriously sick and it's Lily's fault?

No dedication in this chapter. I didn't give u lot time to review chappy 4. Oh well. Ooh! I know! This chapter is dedicated to everyone who has reviewed my story so far, because you are all angels.

**Guilty love**

**Chapter 5 - The waiting game. It's impossible to cheat.**

The Marauders slowly made their way to the Hospital wing. When they entered, both Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey were there, discussing James's coma. They looked up as the boys entered, and Dumbledore spoke.

"We are still examining Mr Potter, and we need quiet for this. You may stay here, but I want no noise, understand?" he fixed each boy with a piercing gaze and one by one they dropped their heads and gave a silent affirmative. He nodded, and turned back to Madame Pomfrey and James. Peter grabbed three visitor chairs and they sat down on one side of James's bed, staring at their unmoving friend.

They sat there for the rest of the evening, each lost in their own thoughts until Madame Pomfrey spoke.

"Albus, shouldn't we send the boys to their tower??" Dumbledore blinked and for a moment looked confused at seeing the boys still sat there.

"Yes, yes Poppy you are absolutely right. Boys, off to bed with you. You may return tomorrow, _after_ you have eaten your breakfast." He held up a hand, forestalling any protest. "You will do as I ask boys, or you will not be coming in at all." They agreed, and trudged out of the Hospital Wing to the Gryffindor Tower.

They entered after giving the password to a concerned portrait, and stepped through the portrait hole to find the whole of Gryffindor sitting in the common room. They shook their head at the questioning looks.

"No change." Lupin muttered.

They went to bed, ignoring the fact that it was only 9:30 and even the 1st years were still up. Lying in bed silently, each boy was overwhelmed by the looming silence coming from the empty fourth bed.

"What would we be doing if James was here?" Peter asked softly. Sirius snorted.

"God Peter, you're such a girl. But if he was here…. We would be…."

"Plotting." Lupin broke in. the other two looked at him. "We would be plotting, and having pillow fights and thinking up ways to torture Snape.

They laughed.

"Yeah. You know, when we were sitting in the Hospital Wing I was trying to think up pranks, and I couldn't think of one. I think I lost my inspiration."

The boys lay in silence for a few minutes after Sirius's statement until Lupin said

"We need to wake him up." He sat up and looked to either side of him at his friends. "I know Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey are looking into it, but we should as well." Sirius leapt of his bed… and fell on the floor. Undaunted, he picked himself up and proclaimed loudly

"Yes! We are the Marauders! We can do anything! We will wake up Prongs!" Peter, always a follower, jumped off his bed too, and agreed. They both looked at Lupin.

"I'm not jumping off my bed." They looked at him, and sighed.

"Killjoy" all of them caught each others eyes and looked away, aware that they were having fun. It felt wrong to be joking around without James, and Peter and Sirius went back to their beds and closed the hangings.

They soon drifted off to sleep, worn out by the searching and worry, and woke early the next morning. They got dressed in record time, Sirius only looking in the mirror for 5 minutes instead of his usual 12, and rushed to the Great Hall.

Again, their breakfast disappeared almost as soon as they put it on their plates, and they left before most people arrived. But as they walked trough the doors, Lupin stopped.

"You two go ahead. I'll catch you up."

"Why, what's going on?" Peter asked.

"Nothing, I just thought I could go the library and find some books on Depressoma. We can start looking at them in the Hospital Wing."

"Great idea!" Peter enthused, (he thought all their ideas were great. Sirius nodded.

"For once, I actually have to agree with Wormtail." He ignored Peters muffled protest and added "You want some help?"

"No, I'll be fine. That new librarian hates you anyway, she's more likely to hit us with the books than let us use them if you're there. Sirius chuckled.

"Alright. See ya in a bit then Moony." They parted ways and sped through the corridors.

(time skip)

Lupin walked through the hallways towards the Hospital Wing, humming softly to himself. He was quite pleased – he had managed to pick up several books about wizarding illnesses, and he was sure there would be something in there to help them save Prongs. With him in a coma, they were all different. Lupin had never really thought about it before, but now he realised that the four of them had a balance that kept them together. They were all different sides of the same unit.

Sirius was the mischief. He was their main pranker, and he took great pride in breaking rules. To him, a rule was just a challenge, and his brain seemed made for fun.

Peter was the weak side of them, although Lupin felt bad thinking this. He grounded them in their own vulnerability. Seeing him reminded the others that the Marauders were not perfect.

Lupin himself was the sensible side, the calmest (except on the full moons), he helped to stop the others going too far. He was their brakes.

James… James was the love. His love for Lily defined him, and consequently, brought the others in. His love for Sirius had made him adopt the boy as a brother. Lupin knew that James loved all of them as family, and that was part of the reason they stayed together. With James unconscious and his love for Lily the cause….. Lupin didn't want to think of it.

Shaking his head to clear them of these confusing and depressing thought, he entered the Hospital Wing.

"Hey guys, I got some really useful books tha….." his voice trailed away at the expression on his friends faces. "What is it?" he asked warily.

"They finished examining James, and… there's nothing we can do! We can't help him until he has sorted out his problem in his mind." Peter said this in a shaky voice after glancing at Sirius, who was obviously in no talking state.

The books fell from Lupin's arms in a deafening crash that made Madame Pomfrey and Proffessor Dumbledore look up. Seeing the boys horrified faces, Dumbledore came over.

"There is still hope. He may wake up, but it will be up to him if he does. Gentlemen," Dumbledore announced, including all of them in his piercing gaze, "The Waiting Game has begun."

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You guys should love me. I was gunna put up just chapter 4, then I thought, no, I should be nice to my readers. So…. 2 chapters at once! Now you guys need to send me hugs.

Goodbye, from the ever great (and oh so humble) xxNEESHxx

Remember, REVIEW!! Make me proud, my grasshoppers.


	6. Chapter 6

Guilty Love – by xxNEESHxx

Lily hates James. She always has, and she always will. But what happens when James is seriously sick and it's Lily's fault?

This chapter is dedicated to….Rock-For-Life!!! Thank you for your review! And to those who still can't be bothered to review… P I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. Yeah. sorry, that was a Monty Python quote. Heehee 

**Guilty love**

**Chapter 6 – lesser of two evils**

It had been a week since James had gone into the coma, and Lily still hadn't been to visit him. Her friends kept telling her to, but she wouldn't, and she couldn't tell them why. She was scared. Scared of the Marauders, who sat by his bedside and who hated her, scared of the other hundred visitors who also wanted her dead. But mostly, she was scared of seeing him lying as though dead, of seeing his lively face still and expressionless.

Not that her current predicament wasn't scary. James was popular, and the knowledge that she had put him in a coma had spread like wildfire around the school. Consequently, she spent a great deal of time hiding from enraged Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. The Slytheryns, however, loved her. They kept coming up to her and winking, or saying thing like

"Nice one Evans" "Good job" "The mudblood did good!" which angered her as well as making her even more scared of members of the other houses. But she still couldn't work up the courage to do anything about it. She knew that until she had sorted things out with James, she would feel as though she shouldn't defend herself.

Lily was spending a lot of time in the library by herself. Her friends had stuck by her at first, but now they were disgusted with her for ignoring it all and not doing anything to sort out the problem. They would still talk to her, but they had made it clear that their friendship was not the same as it was. She sighed and turned a page of her book. Everyone else was outside, enjoying the first sunny day for a while. She looked up when a shadow fell over her, and groaned inside. On the outside she forced a smile.

"Severus… how are you?" Severus Snape beamed.

"I'm perfect. I just wanted to thank you, Lily. For getting rid of Potter. My life is awesome now, and its because of you! I knew you valued our friendship above Potter really Lils." Lily frowned. 'What is he saying?' She thought to herself. 'It sounds like he thinks I did it on purpose…' she looked at her ex-friend again. He was still waffling on about how great she did, and she snapped. She stood up, and slapped him in the face. He looked at her in shock, holding onto his now bright red cheek.

"What the hell?" he hissed at her, taking a step forward. Lily held her ground.

"I did NOT do it on purpose, _Snape_, and I resent the implication. How dare you assume that I would do something like that? How dare you assume that I still liked you? You ended our friendship when you called me that, and you know it. And lastly, how dare you think that I would ever stoop to your level, inflicting pain on someone and risking their life? I'm not like you SNIVELLOUS, I'm not a Death Eater." By the end of this speech, she was shaking with rage. She pushed past Snape and ran out of the library up to her dorm, where she cried for everything that had happened in the last few days.

After crying for an hour, she gradually stopped, and went to the bathroom to wash her face. She looked in the mirror and gave herself a talking to.

"Right Lily Evans, you need to get a grip. This fear is unnecessary. Tonight, you will sneak into the hospital wing and see Potter. You will apologise, and you will explain everything. Okay?" she nodded firmly to herself, then bit her lip. "But how am I going to get in without being noticed?"

"We can help with that." Came a voice from behind her. Lily spun round to see Remus and Sirius standing at the door. She gave a squeak of surprise and nearly fell over. The boys stifled their laughs as Lily looked at them curiously.

"How are you going to get me into the Hospital Wing?" Sirius and Lupin exchanged glances, and Lily panicked.

"Oh my god, you're going to attack me, aren't you?! And then I'll have to go to the Hospital Wing… aaaah! Don't kill me!" she babbled. The two looked confused.

"What are you on about Evans? Asked Sirius. "We're not going to attack you, we're just saying that we know a way you can get into the Hospital Wing without being seen." Lily looked at him warily, and found the flaw in his words.

"Ah! But you didn't know that I wanted to get into the Hospital Wing when you came up here, so what were you going to do then?! And how did you get up here?" This time Remus answered, looking shifty.

"We have our ways. But anyway… we only came up because we heard someone crying, and then we came here… and we heard you talking… and then we decided to help."

"That's a point, why are we helping her?" Sirius asked "It's all her fault!" this had become Sirius's catchphrase. Remus sighed.

"Because, Dumbledore said that Prongs might wake up if things get sorted and that's what Evans wants to do as well." He gave Lily a significant look. "Isn't it, Evans?" Lily nodded fervently.

"Yes, of course."

"Good, but before we help you, you have to promise that you won't reveal our secrets to anyone."

"Umm… okay. I promise." Remus and Sirius looked at each other, and nodded.

"Right then. Well, since its evening already, how about we put our incredibly brilliant super-dooper master plan in action?" Sirius asked. Remus rolled his eyes and began muttering about dramatics and modesty.

"Okay, let's get going. Lily, you get under this cloak, and try and be silent. Follow me and Sirius, but you'd better do down into the common room first and wait. We're going to slide down the stairs." Lily nodded, and they headed out.

As they walked through the quiet corridors under the cloak (Remus and Sirius had joined her once they were out of the common room), Lily couldn't help but worry. For a moment she considered turning back, but remembering Severus's words, made herself go on. Seeing James was the lesser of two evils.

Once they got to the hospital wing, the boy went and hid in a nearby broom closet (feeling slightly disturbed by the fact that this was Sirius's favourite make-out spot) while Lily took the cloak and went inside. She silently went to James's bedside and sat down.

Just looking at him made her insides twist. He looked so helpless, just like she had feared, and her eyes pricked with tears. She roughly wiped her eyes under the cloak and leaned over.

"James," she whispered "Its Lily. I… I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry; I didn't mean anything I said. I don't… I don't hate you. In fact, it's the opposite. I love you James and I can't believe I didn't say it before. I didn't even see it… I'm really sorry James… Please wake up…" Lily sniffed, and wiped away more tears. She squeezed James's hand, and slowly left the hospital wing.

When she opened the broom closet, Sirius and Remus were sitting talking quietly. They got up when they saw her, and the three of them trooped back to the common room under the cloak, each politely ignoring their companions' watering eyes.

It hadn't worked.

In the hospital wing, the silence was broken by a cough. In one of the beds, a boy twitched, and sat up, coughing loudly. Madame Pomfrey hurried out of her office.

"Mr Potter! You're awake!"

Thank you for reading!

Goodbye, from the ever great (and oh so humble) xxNEESHxx

Remember, REVIEW!! Make me proud, my grasshoppers.


	7. 7 Votes Choices and Results

**Okay, big thing here that you need to read.**

**There are choices about what will happen next in the story.**

**It ends where it is**

**Lily and James get together and then it ends.**

**James doesn't remember Lily's confession, so they have to sort stuff out, then they get together.**

**James doesn't remember Lily at all**

**James and Lily get together but the rest of the school (including the marauders) are annoyed about it. **_**I already have some ideas for this one.**_

**Put the one you want in a review. Two weeks from today (September 4****th****) I'll look at the results and write the story. If I don't get enough votes or there's a tie, ill choose .**

**Okay, after a very tense (for me) two weeks, the results pf the poll are in. and, after tallying all your results and the ones I got in person from my friends, the final results are…**

**James doesn't remember Lily's confession so they have to make up - 5**

**James and Lily get together but everyone is annoyed about it. - 7**

**None of the others got even one vote!!! **

**So yeah. The winner is that lily and james get together, but the others aren't happy. So… I'll post that up soon.**

**Luv to all who reviewed!**

froga10t: I lumped these two together so you can see all the story's progression. :)


	8. Chapter 8

AN. Hi, this is froga10t, writing a new chapter for the story 'Guilty Love' by xxNEESHxx. I am (hopefully) adopting this story. Hope it is up to her standards.

_Recap_

_It hadn't worked._

_In the hospital wing, the silence was broken by a cough. In one of the beds, a boy twitched, and sat up, coughing loudly. Madame Pomfrey hurried out of her office._

"_Mr Potter! You're awake!"_

_End Recap_

It was only a small sound but Dumbledore heard it from down the corridor. He was just doing a 'night patrol' and heard that squeak, causing him to move faster than he had ever moved and ever would move, sweeping along the corridor as fast as his old, crooked legs would let him without running.

"What's the rush, sir? Is there an emergency?" a painting spoke clearly, obviously a well-spoken witch.

"Not as such, but quite the opposite, the ending of what was originally a tragedy. I think…"

He flung the door open to see a flustered-looking Madame Pompfrey and James Potter sitting up in bed, smiling.

"Hello, headmaster, good to see you. Isn't a lovely warm night?" the old man stared at his pupil and said quietly:

"Would you like to see your friends? I could get them up."

"Just Lily tonight sir. Just Lily." Dumbledore shook his head with confusion and proceeded to advance up to Lily Evans' dorm. He knocked carefully on the door, not used to waking up young girls in the middle of the night.

"Lily? Do you think you could come down to the medical room now?"

"Yes sir. Is it James? Is he alright now?"

"It seems so. He asked for you specifically. What did you do to him when you snuck in last night? Very ingenious but whatever you spoke then, woke him up and he keeps remarking what a fine night it is and how happy he is feeling." He looked questioningly at the astonished girl.

"How did you…I mean…I was invisible…but you…what…how?" Dumbledore smiled and Lily looked at her feet shyly. They continued in silence.

"Here we are, don't startle him, he may still be a bit fragile. We'll wait out here if you like." Lily nodded carefully and stepped into the medical room. James was sitting up in bed, eating a plate of cheese and crackers. He noticed her and smiled awkwardly.

"Lily, you came, thank-you. Can we talk?" James put his plate down and grinned cautiously.

"Oh James." Lily whispered and ran to his bedside. She grabbed him and hugged him hard. "Don't do that to me James. I can't manage without you. I-I I think…I think I l-lo-love you…" her face was pure relief and happiness, whilst James' was just complete elation and love.

Madame Pompfrey and Dumbledore walked in, smiling.

Promptly, Lily burst into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

"Have you done the homework for Muggle Studies? I did, but it's not very good…" James put a hand on Lily's arm.

"I'm sure it's better than mine anyway." They wandered down the corridor and into the classroom in an amiable silence and remained quiet until the teacher asked the un-askable:

"Now, who would like to read theirs out?"

And James, of course, did the unthinkable:

"I will Miss."

"Lest I die before mine eyes could see thee,

T'would be a happier day should I die after seeing thee once.

Teach me, thou cruel yet undeniable tempter, to feel

For I have loved and still remain.

Do not lie, thy proud heart shalt deteste thy fair opposition

But thou art the finest I have ever seen.

The world hast grown so dark yet

Thy face glows in the shadows.

Should I speak of thee to thy fellows in the manner I shouldn't,

Though I shalt never slander about thee,

My heart would die, neglected in despair.

Again I say, better it were so,

Should thou love me for one day

Than spend eternity without thee.

Mine eyes and ears do deceive me if they say

Thou art beautiful, but my mind should lie

Lest it says thou art kind.

Let me touch thy face, oh fine one,

Let me hold thy hand against my heart.

Feel my beating pulse, throbbing for you as I yearn.

Thou art wonderful as thy heart doth show,

Thy kind, fantastic heart.

Thou art fair, my dove,

Thou art fair…"

James shuffled back to his seat and stared dumbly at the floor.

Lily sat back in her seat, breathing hard, trying to still her madly fluttering heart.

The whole class gawped.

"That was beautiful, James. Thank-you for that wonderful example. Now, does anyone else feel like presenting their sonnets?" A few people timidly or brashly waved hands in the air and the lesson continued.

Remus poked James's cheek but he remained in a daze.

"I knew it," Remus whispered. "I just _knew_ it."


End file.
